i watched "crossroads" last night. yes, the britney spears movie. it was actually not that bad. apart from britney's absolutely annoying voice. she's one of those singers that her speaking voice is tolerable, but after too much singing...*cringe*
anyway, i'm not gonna talk too much about the movie per se. while i was watching it, i was reflecting on my own state of friendships. me, sumi, dhui and poh lin. two years ago...we were like those 3 in the movie. really tight, friends forever. and now...we've like, scattered. those 3 friends scattered so much that their personalities were in total different social classes. one was the class nerd, one was the odd ball, the other was the prom queen. imagine. and it's like...sad that over the years, what we wished would last forever, all those friendships and memories, feelings, they just disintegrate and vanish as time goes by. oh crap, guess what my media player is playing now. "goodbye" by the spice girls. how apt. anyway, ya, it's sad. i think of those friends like jac, zhengying, chinlin...if i see zhengying now, she's practically a total stranger to me. know what i mean? how poignantly sad it is when friendships just vanish. they don't break apart or be blown apart or whatever. it's just, over the years, lack of contact, neglect of the relationship...and suddenly, your best friend 10 years ago becomes a stranger.
sometimes i think about those people who were friends to me but not anymore. wonder what happens in their life now. there's a girl in uni, i've seen her around. we used to be friends in primary school where we parted after graduating. now, i pass by her like a stranger. i don't know if she remembers me. but i remember her. sometimes i'm scared that it's gonna happen again. i know it's happening again. me and jacqueline are in the process. sumi, if we continue as we are, it will happen too. i guess this is the nature of relationships. having no boyfriend, i can only analyse relationships from girlfriends perspectives. it's so true that relationships need a lot of work. i still keep up with chinlin and jac through their blogs. but ask me to have a personal conversation with them like 10 years ago, and i can't anymore. we've all moved on from that stage of our life and relationships from that stage. all because we never worked to keep up the relationship and friendship.
anyway, moving on. i saw jasmine's blog. i owe the girls some photos. here ya go!
pictures the 3 proud motorola owners took at starbucks with my samsung. :D
moving on again. last night. choir was a disaster. it was a disaster that never happened before. it was supposed to be tenor sectionals. they never showed up. i hung around till 8. then andrew appeared to learn his psalm. taught him his psalm. 8.30. they didn't show up. so, left. i forgot to reiterate my threat to them today. sick and tired of having to nag them so much.
today's mass was disasterous too. 5 seconds before mass was supposed to start, there was no animator. i saw aunty agnes there so i went and asked her where's the animator. so she's like, "there's no animator? you all do it lah." *rolls eyes* she's the bloody lector, not us. this is probably one of the reasons why the youth are so sick of the church. i'll talk more on that later. tian was playing today for the first time. for her first time, she made it ok through the first half of the mass. then, disaster struck from thanksgiving onwards. firstly, she forgot to do the intro for "seek ye first". but that was ok cos the rest of the song went well. the worst disaster was the recessional "prayer of st francis". i made the mistake of assuming that she was familiar with the song. so we didn't rehearse it. partly cos the choir all turned up LATE again. so, she didn't know the flow of the song. and so disaster. i don't really want to relive it. but it was partly my fault, i'd admit. learn my lesson, move on.
scary experience at church yesterday. the side staircase is closed now. so for the first time, i entered the church by the new staircase. the lights were off at the top of the stairs. which would have been ok, if not for an opening into a room by the side of the staircase. and that room was pitchblack. it was so scary. imagine...that kind of room that got scary things that jump out at you. and then! got away from the room, was trying to on the light only to find that...the light didn't work. had to pass by the old staircase also. it was boarded up with something, in the dark i couldn't see. but just imagine the scene. suddenly there's a void in front of you. in the dark. but...being brave, i walked on to the main church hall. i step on something soft when going through the doorway. *cringe* reassures myself that it's probably construction stuff that they put on the floor (it is a rubber mat, i found out later). as i enter the church hall, i'm disoriented for a minute for some reason. the mary statue is missing from it's usual place. there's a sillouette of the st anthony statue in the back that's clearly showing up. no details, just the shadow outline. i rush to the light switch, praying that it works. in the second before i on the switch, i see a shadow figure on the altar also. @.@ quickly turns on the switch and is SO relieved when the light goes on. the thing on the altar was the mary statue. first time in my 20 years in the church that i've seen it outside of it's niche. it just doesn't look right somehow. anyway, then, i'm ok, with the light on. i on the organ to practice. the light is not very strong btw, so a lot of the church is still in shadow. so, i'm playing...and fr khoo appears out of nowhere behind me. &.& anyway, thank god, he goes to the sacristy and turns on more lights. but not all the lights, just those in the choir area. now, i'm back to my playing and constantly reassuring myself that this is a church and there are no ghosts gonna pop out and scare me in a church. meanwhile, i'm playing "blest are you lord". fyi, it's kinda minor key type of song. and i *think* i hear whistling, someone whistling the song. *.* tries to convince myself that it's just feedback from the organ. anyway, thank god, andrew showed up very soon after that and suggested that it was someone downstairs who heard me playing and was whistling along. geez. i was never so scared before in church.
back to why the youth maybe sick of the church. my own experience. they're wearing us way too thin. making us do everything that needs doing in the church. now, i'm handling choir. i'm also secretary to whatever they need someone to be secretary to that i happen to be attending. i just finished doing the poster for music ministry recruitment (kinda proud of that one tho). khoo announced that there's a retreat for PPC exco members next sunday. i was asked to go for that also. I AM PART OF MUSIC MINISTRY. I AM NOT PART OF PPC EXCO. I HAVE NO INTENTION OF BEING PART OF PPC EXCO. and, as demonstrated earlier, we're expected to double up as lectors also. any work needs to be done, "the youths will do it!" *rolls eyes* simply put, they're expecting so much of us. joseph once suggested that i should become a missionary, since i do so much church work and want to travel. lol!
fk gave a long lecture recently about doing stuff and not accepting thanks cos once you accept thanks, the merits that came from the doing is lost. *rolls eyes again* to quote that poster i saw "one cannot survive on a diet of hope." i'm so ready to throw in the towel if i have the chance. that's the worse part. i feel insignificant. fk still can't get my last name correct. he called me irene lee, irene wong. never my name. and it's not like i didn't correct him the first time he called me irene lee. it's like, i already do a lot for the church, and you still don't know my name?!!!?! same with all the others. no one knows that i've taken over from dawn since the beginning of the year. people still think that i took over from verena. they see me at meetings and assume that i'm representing the youths. and that's another problem. cos everyone BUT fk sees the 10am choir as the youth choir. Jubilate is the youth choir. 10am choir is the one that fk dreams about. and i don't know which to side with. i don't want to offend either side. :p a nice dilemna we have here. never mind. it's a problem that will remain as long as the stereotype of the 10am choir remains. he's got one and a half years more. time to start doing countdown. ^.^
alrighty. time to stop wasting time and get back to work. still got MA2101 homework, EL2151 project, MA1102 tutorial to work through. that's not counting my non-academic stuff like the nus choir and Jubilate stuff. where does the time go?
mood: don't know.
listening to: show me your glory - third day
